Chat Read online

  My cell phone rested next to the keyboard.

  What in the hell just happened?

  I sat back, tipping the bottle to my lips.

  I’d never tied a girl up before. Not once. Like I’d told Sandy, I’d never felt the need to and it’d never even occurred to me with any of the girls that I’d been with over the years. Other than Elaina, the longest relationship I’d had was with Dawn McGregor, and that had lasted six weeks.

  Elaina had been into having sex in public places. I’d fucked her at a concert, a bar, a baseball game, the park, you name it. It took her two minutes to get off if she knew that people were- possibly- watching us. At first, sex in public was a little unnerving, but I realized that if anyone did suspect what we were doing, they mostly just rolled their eyes and looked away.

  I clicked through my Facebook newsfeed for all of three minutes before realizing that I was completely and utterly screwed.

  I loved Sandy. I loved her so much that, when she told me to go chat with Carissa and closed her door, it felt like she’d raked her fingernails over my heart.

  But, I’d always loved her.

  She was the first one who I wanted to talk to when I woke up in the morning, even when I was married to Elaina. Sandy knew that I’d always been a morning person, that I had the most to say in the first hours of the day. She met my energy two-fold as I’d ramble on about the most inane bullshit as I drank my coffee.

  Elaina loved to sleep in, and if I spoke to her before nine AM, it had better be for a damn good reason.

  The chat sound bleeped through my laptop speakers, and I sighed, opening Carissa’s message.

  Carissa Steel: Hey J. You there?

  Now I was just J, apparently.

  Jason Brewer: I’m here. Got a really interesting present from a very naughty author today. Thank you.

  Carissa Steel: LOL- was it too much? *runs and hides her eyes*

  I narrowed my eyes at her immature image, trying to remember that she was an expressive writer.

  And almost a decade younger than me.

  Jason Brewer: It was unexpected ;-)

  Carissa Steel: I thought that… maybe… you could bring the box with you when we meet up in Cleveland.

  I sat back in my chair, and Joplin whined at me, resting her head on my lap. She looked up at me with the most accusing expression, and I scowled at her. “What? She told me to talk to her.”

  Joplin gave a hrmph, accompanied by another whine.

  I rested my fingers over the keys.

  Jason Brewer: I’ll be honest with you. I have a lot going on in my life right now, and I can’t promise anything.

  Carissa Steel: I totally understand. We’ll just meet and see what happens. Sound good?

  Jason Brewer: Sounds like a plan.

  Carissa Steel: :-D

  I logged off then. I didn’t want to deal with any more of her immature flirting. Well, I did, until Sandy suddenly became a completely different woman to me from the girl that I’d known all of my life.

  My phone lit up, and I reached for it.

  Boss: Can Joplin sleep with me?

  I stared at her words until the text became blurry. Finally, I tossed the phone to the table without answering, patting my hip for Joplin to follow me down the hall.

  Knocking softly, I waited for her to open the door.

  The moment she did, her mouth was on mine, and her arms were on me like vices. I picked her up, and she wrapped her legs around my waist.

  Fuck, could she could kiss. Or maybe it was just the fact that it was her tongue against my own, her head tilting for a better angle, and her hair spilling over her shoulders.

  Sandy.

  “Will you sleep with me?” I asked her, and she nodded, tucking her face in my neck. I held her effortlessly, flattening my palm over the back of her head as I kissed her forehead.

  “I don’t want to be alone. When I’m alone, I think. I can’t stop thinking. And then I cry. And I forget how to breathe,” she poured, her fingers digging into my shoulder blades.

  “Then I won’t leave you alone.”

  I carried her to my bed, the same place I’d just thoroughly drove her mad, and tucked her beneath the sheets. She made a small, disappointed sound as I moved toward the bedroom door. “Where are you going?”

  “Just locking up the house. I’ll be right in.”

  I did a sweep of the windows and doors, making sure all the locks were in place. She was drifting in and out of sleep when I returned to my bedroom. I crawled in next to her, and she backed up against me, fitting against my length perfectly.

  “How many stars?” I whispered against her hair.

  “None with you, Jason,” she managed with barely a breath.

  ~

  I was up before her the next morning.

  Staring at her for the longest time, I watched her sleep, focusing on the thin strip of sunlight that shone through the window and illuminated her face. Her eye was healing, and the marks on her neck were dull bruises now. Her full breasts rose and fell with every breath. As much as I wanted to begin there and run my hands over her body, I knew that she needed to sleep.

  Seeing her, in my bed, on her knees, cuffed and blindfolded… with just the memory of the night before I was painfully hard. I’d heard her complain over the recent years about her hips getting too big, or five pounds that she just couldn’t lose. When I saw her, completely naked, I had no idea what she had been talking about. She was curvy, yes, but in the best way. I finally slipped out of the bed before I could think about the way I held her breasts beneath her bra.

  Jesus Christ.

  Joplin whined at the door, and I hurriedly let her out into the backyard. While my cup of coffee brewed in my Keurig, I stretched, yawned, and dropped to the seat in front of my laptop.

  Before my coffee was done, I had at least three possible places to rent along the shore of Emerald Isle, North Carolina.

  That summer, the summer of 1998, my dad had been laid off from his job at the power plant near our home. I’d just graduated. My parents had saved my first year of college tuition for me, and watching them talk quietly in the kitchen about having the summer off gave me an idea.

  “I’ll get school loans like the rest of the world. I want to take a year off, anyway,” I’d convinced them, handing over the money. When they refused to take it, I withdrew from Ohio State myself, researched vacation spots, and booked half of an ocean-front condo on the shores of North Carolina.

  We’d never taken a vacation out of Ohio, and my mom had always wanted to go to the ocean. Sandy had been working at a local video store, and I talked her into telling her boss that she needed the week off. “Just a week, San. Come and lay in the sun with me.”

  The week turned into two weeks, which turned into two months.

  After the first duplex, we found a cottage that offered an extended stay. It was rented out by a private owner, and Sandy quit her job just to continue the summer with us. She helped my mom bake in the kitchen, let my dad and Scott teach her how to play poker, and walked along the shore every night with me before we went to bed.

  Why?

  Why had almost sixteen years passed since that summer, and only now we were seeing each other in this way?

  I knew what she wanted. She was almost thirty-five years old. She had the career. She wanted a family.

  Sandy had always wanted children.

  I knew about her little test, the game that she played with everyone that she dated. “In a perfect world, where do you see yourself in five years?” I’d teased her that it was more of an interview question than a getting-to-know-you chat, but she insisted that she wasn’t sleeping with just anyone, especially if they weren’t headed down the same path as her.

  I couldn’t fucking believe that Numbers had never gone down on her. She’d writhed on the couch in the camper, her nails dragging into my shoulders like she’d never been touched before. I should have guessed that he was a selfish fucking asshole in every aspect
of his life, but Sandy and I had always refrained from discussing our sex lives with each other.

  I took a drink of my coffee, clicking on a rental property that was available. The first week in May would make for cooler evenings, but I had a feeling that Sandy wouldn’t care about the weather.

  Opening my wallet, I reached for my credit card, and I booked the house.

  She’d told me the night before that she would go, and I was going to hold her to it. She needed time, and I was going to make sure that she had it… with me watching over her.

  As each day passed, I worried more about Jack stopping over.

  Sandy had the papers for the restraining order, but as of yesterday, the copies were still sitting on top of the microwave, untouched. I knew that she was avoiding it all, which was fine for the first few days, but I had to get her to fill them out and file them soon. She’d agreed to press charges while she was in the hospital, but I had a feeling that she’d let him go just to evade the entire situation.

  “What… are you doing?”

  I turned, watching her pad across the carpet in her bare feet. Her t-shirt skimmed her thighs, and I grinned, holding my arm out to reach for her.

  She paused, brushing the curls out of her eyes.

  “Come here.”

  “Jason, you need to get to work. And I have a lot to do today. I’d better get in the shower.” She skirted my arms, and I stood, following her down the hallway.

  “I’m taking the day off.”

  “Don’t do that for me, I won’t be here.”

  I stopped in mid-stride, narrowing my eyes. “What are you talking about?”

  She popped her head around the corner of her bedroom, grinning adorably. “I’ve got some doctor’s appointments, and I need to file that restraining order. My mom’s going with me. Hey.” Her soft tone calmed my nerves. “I’m coming back,” she eased.

  I released the breath that I didn’t realize that I was holding, grinning at her. “Oh.” I raised my eyes. “Doctors?”

  “A follow-up, for my neck… and a counseling appointment.”

  “Do you want me to go?”

  Looking down, she kicked at the carpet with her toe. “Not this one. This is the one where I have to talk about what he did to me. I don’t want you to hear that.”

  A fresh wave of fury washed over me. I clenched my fists. “I know what he did to you, baby.”

  She paused, and then lifted her eyes back to mine. “I know… that you know. But I also don’t want you to hear about how I miss him. It’s sick. I’m sick.”

  “No, you’re not.” I forced with a gentle tone. “You’re healing, which is why you’re going. And I’m glad your mom is going with you.”

  She crossed her arms over her chest, nodding. Finally, after a moment, she offered me a small smile. “Thank you for sleeping with me,” she said, taking a tentative step closer. “It was the best I’ve slept in a long time.”

  Wrapping my arms around her, I tugged her against my chest. She resisted for a second, and then gave in. “I booked us a house on the shore. We’re going there Friday.”

  Her face tipped to mine, and those wide, caramel eyes of hers searched mine. “We can’t! I have to get back to work, and you-…,”

  “… need a vacation. We both need a vacation.”

  She was quiet for a moment, staring up at me.

  I backed her toward the wall.

  “Wait,” she whispered, even as my mouth caught hers, so carefully. Easy. “Wait, Brew. I don’t want to confuse you. Or myself. What happened last night was… was two adults, of perfectly sound mind, trying something new. In a safe, loving environment.”

  Blinking, I backed away from her. “In a safe, loving environment? What, was it some kind of experiment?”

  “What we did,” she urged, “was for you and Carissa. She sent you that box of… fun… and you two are chatting. Don’t let me get in the way. That’s not what I want.”

  I stared at her.

  I wanted to ask her what in the hell she wanted, but I already knew.

  She became uncomfortable as soon as I became available.

  I knew her better than I knew myself. As long as Carissa was between us, what we had became a safe zone. A refuge.

  Protection.

  “Okay, San,” I agreed evenly, nodding toward her bedroom. “Friday morning, we’re driving south. Agreed?”

  “Aye aye, Captain,” she saluted playfully, turning for the shower.

  By the time I got to work, I already missed her. Pulling into the parking lot, I turned off the ignition and texted her quickly.

  Me: Just checking in. What sounds good for dinner?

  I’d gathered my laptop and coffee mug from the truck before her text came through.

  Boss: Is this the part where I reply “YOU” and then give you a winky smile?

  I grinned, stopping half-way through the parking lot. The car in front of me had to tap the horn to tell me it was waiting for me to pass.

  Me: Yes. ;-)

  Boss: lol. YOU. But I don’t think I could fit all of you inside of my mouth.

  Holy fucking shit.

  I shifted my laptop bag in front of my crotch, forcing a few obligatory hellos before finally making it to the privacy of my office.

  Me: You want to chat? Like this? Because I won’t hold back. Fair warning.

  Boss: You didn’t hold back last night, did you?

  “Hey, Jason, how’s Sandy?” Jessica popped her head in my doorway. I looked up from my phone guiltily, forcing a polite smile.

  “Hey Jess. She’s doing okay. She asked you to give her a day or so.”

  “I will. Please tell her that I miss her.”

  “You got it. Hey, can you pull my door closed? I have a conference call.”

  She made a face, nodding. “Sure. Yuck. Eight AM conference calls are the worst. Have fun!”

  I waved her away, waiting for the soft snap of my door.

  Me: I’d fit.

  I waited for her to jump back into the game.

  I waited for thirty seconds.

  Boss: I don’t have a very big mouth.

  Me: You don’t have a very big asshole, either, but I got in there.

  Boss: Jason

  Me: And I intend to get in there with more than my finger.

  Boss: I can’t believe that it felt good

  Me: Are you a virgin?

  Boss: I told you, no one has ever touched me there

  Me: I’m not going to restrain you when I slide my cock up your ass. You’ll need to hold on to something.

  I waited. Too much? Definitely too much.

  I froze at her next text.

  Boss: I’ll like it?

  She was open to anything with me, and that knowledge made me want to turn around, get back in my truck, and go straight home to her.

  Me: Eventually. We’ll start slow.

  Boss: Not… too slow.

  Me: You’re killing me. I can’t work like this.

  Boss: When you finger and fuck me at the same time, I lose my mind

  Jesus.

  Me: I’m going to finger the fuck out of you for that

  Boss: It’s your turn. I want you in my mouth. I want to taste you.

  I was uncomfortably hard. I adjusted myself, taking a deep breath.

  Me: Will you touch yourself while you suck me?

  Boss: I don’t know

  Me: I want to watch you come, San. Nothing hotter in the whole fucking world.

  Boss: Call me.

  My fingers froze over my phone. I stood up to lock my door and close the mini blinds.

  And then I called her.

  “Jason,” she whispered, breathless, and I lowered to my chair again. Tugging at my zipper, I let my erection spring free, closing it inside my fist.

  “What are you doing?” I demanded.

  “I’m lying on your bed. I just wanted to be where you were. And then I… I was thinking of you, and I’m so wet…,”

  “Facetime. N
ow.”

  I waited while the swirling screen connected. When it finally focused, I could make out my shadowy bedroom, and the view jostled as she propped the phone against a pillow.

  “You’re bad for doing this to me at work,” I groaned, my hand sliding up and down my cock. She had only the thick, white towel wrapped around her body, and at the angle of the camera, I could see her entire length. “Open the towel.”

  She moaned a little but obeyed, pulling the towel apart.

  Her body was a perfect silhouette of breasts, belly, and hip, and her soft panting alone was enough to make me come. I pumped harder.

  “Like this?” she asked, her voice so husky, and I groaned.

  “Squeeze your tits, San. They’re so fucking gorgeous. Open your legs.”

  She did as I asked, and I sat back in the chair, my breath quickening.

  “I wish you were here.”

  “Are you thinking about my hands?”

  “Yes...,”

  “And my tongue, on your hot clit, licking…”

  “Yes,” she cried, writhing against the bed. I groaned.

  “Finger yourself,” I ordered gruffly. “Like I’m there. Like I’m fucking you. I can’t think about anything else. I want to feel you tighten around me.”

  “Okay…” she moaned, her hand sliding down her side and tucking between her thighs.